Our belief system lives in the subconscious.
It was mostly formed during childhood and can be considered a form of social conditioning.
We arrive on this planet as a blank canvas. Family, culture, society, school, peers and the media start to “teach” us what behaviors, thoughts, words, choices and aesthetics are acceptable and appropriate.
These socially agreed-upon “norms” are mostly arbitrary, except in media, which is deliberate. The media loves to prey on our sense of not being worthy or enough. That’s how they sell us all the crap — by telling us we aren’t enough without whatever product they are pitching.
We start to build beliefs about ourselves by assigning meaning to events in our young life.
Who we truly are and how we express ourselves become extinguished by punishment, coercion, shame, embarrassment, comparison, bullying, force, and more.
As children, our prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed, so we cannot take on others’ perspectives to understand their behavior. So, we assume things happen and people behave in ways because of us.
We assume it’s our fault, and thus, we need to change ourselves to be liked, loved, appreciated, recognized, and to feel as though we belong.
We begin to tell ourselves stories about how we aren’t good enough or we are too much and need to tone it down. We say we aren’t deserving and that we need to be perfect and please others. We become convinced that we need to stay small or be big and aggressive, or never show weakness or vulnerability. The list goes on.
Soon these narratives become embedded beliefs.
As we grow older, these false and limiting beliefs stay for so long we aren’t even aware that most of our behaviors and choices are based on them.
Because these beliefs are so old, they’ve become a part of our subconscious, which is a difficult level of consciousness to access, but it can be done.
Doing inner-child work is one way of accessing these buried beliefs.
Another way I’ve found to uncover our limiting beliefs is via our insecurities.
Here is how you can practice doing so:
When insecurity arises, ask yourself, “What is it that I believe about myself that informs or triggers this insecurity?”
Is that belief true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Most likely, no, it is not true nor helpful, nor kind.
So, what is the truth or, honestly, what do you want your narrative, story, or belief to be?
Tell yourself your new empowering, authentic narrative.
Every time the old limiting belief shows up (usually via insecurity), tell yourself, “I used to believe that, but that was a lie and I no longer do. Now I believe …”
This takes intention and PRACTICE, but it is so worth it. It results in an increased sense of confidence and the ability to achieve greater goals.
