The human brain assigns judgment to almost everything.
Every object, person (including yourself), place, situation, and outcome gets put into either the positive or negative file in your mind.
Then, you move onto justification and tell yourself why you’ve passed that particular judgment. That way, you never have to second-guess your decision.
Now, there’s a big difference between judgment and consciously discerning whether or not something is good for you.
When you subconsciously judge and justify the world, you’re basically creating a reality for yourself on auto-pilot.
Wouldn’t you rather be a conscious curator of your reality than some bystander that ends up with a hapless default life in which you feel little power or agency?
Then reserve judgment for when it serves you. Use it as a tool as opposed to a default mode. Work on allowing most things and people to just be as they are.
The way to start changing your auto-pilot behaviors is to bring awareness to them. Begin by learning not to judge yourself because we tend to be our harshest critics.
Can you allow your behaviors and choices to just be?
Can you notice them as they are and simply decide if you want to continue that behavior or modify it without placing harsh judgment on it? Can you practice equanimity in your life?
The answer to all of these questions is yes, if you practice consistently. Remember, your job is to nurture your growth and evolution, not be some self-righteous, judgemental asshole to yourself.
As you get better at noticing and accepting yourself, you will begin to place fewer judgments on other people, places, and things automatically.
Typically, when we judge others, it’s because we do not accept that trait or behavior in ourselves.
So, when you catch yourself judging someone else, stop and look within. Are you insecure or ashamed of the very thing you’re judging this person about?
When you learn to accept yourself, you tend to attract people who practice compassion instead of judgment.
In the end, it all relates to energy. You can only give what you have: If you have self-judgment, you will judge others. If you have self-acceptance, you will accept others.
In practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion, you will see your relationship with yourself and others flourish.